It was midnight and Eulfred couldn't sleep, yet again. He let out a long lamented sigh as he ran his fingers, his work ridden hands, through his rough brown hair. The television was playing another re-run of some stupid infomercial, grainy, it was heard, "Get your life back on track today! Give us a call at 1-888-924-8888!" Eulfred giggled, "This anxiety is going to kill me, I swear."
The twenty-something lay back down on his degrading spring matress, rolling, tossing for comfort. Of course, to no avail.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* "Ah, fuck! An hour 'till work already!?" Eulfred didn't sleep a wink, it was 3:00 AM. In a desperate attempt to control his mental issues without drugs or alcohol worked in a factory with a union and short hours. "At least I wont get fired if I'm late." He thought.
Being an uninsured driver drove him to panic about seeing policemen on the road. He checks his lights meticulously and refuses to drive over the speed limit. Even though the speedometer is a few miles fast, the needle never exceeds forty.
He pulls into work with a sigh at 3:30, half an hour early. "Why was I so worried about being late?" He wondered, of course knowing the answer.
For the next fifteen minutes while he waited to go inside, Eulfred takes a drag off his electronic cigarette. Something he had become quite crafty with. Setting it up just so so that it would be perfect. He takes another drag and releases with a sigh. pineapple with a hint of lime fills his taste buds as he smacks his lips enjoyably.
While his face wouldn't say it, the anxiety of work was torture. Nobody would have ever guessed he even disliked his job let alone hate it. Running back and forth, sweat dripping grabbing pieces of wood, cutting them to size, and fitting them together into a window frame. Working at least four times as much as his peers. It was a panic as usual of course, to do a good job so he would not get yelled at. He knew that if he slowed down now, they would call it slacking off, so he tries not to work harder, but cant let up now. Running circles around his co-workers still.
"I'm on a union, why am I working so damn hard?" muttered Eulfred to himself. sweat dripping into his mouth while the co-workers sat around chattering and laughing, not even one frame had been done by his co-workers by the time he did five.
Lisa, the one pretty girl in the whole building, of three women that work with him walks over. "Someones excited to be here on a Monday I see!" She sniffed jokingly. She was Eulfreds type, sort of "Metal," with long straight brown hair. She wasn't a twig, but an average slim body type. A familiar band tee of "Pantera," Eulfred's favorite band. Big deep brown eyes that seem to have mountains and valleys of gold peaks and black shades. Thick black eyeliner. Oh, and gauges, Eulfred loved gauges. Turned him into a little school girl.
He melted, but nervously let out, "Ha! Oh you know it!" Totally witty, not really he knew. She was pretty and Eusted knew other guys were much wittier, funnier, and better looking than he in this factory alone, let alone her friend base. He had no chance, as usual.
After other attemps of useless small talk, they both begin to look busy as the manager walks over to Eusted.
"Eusted!" Barked the suit-and-tie lawyer looking man with a long clean shaven face.
"Y.. Yes, sir?" Asked Eusted nervously.
"Your numbers are down again, and the work isn't as high quality as usual." snarled mr. suit-and-tie.
"Okay sir, I will try harder then," fully aware he was already working at full capacity.
"I knew I shouldn't have been talking..." he sighed.
Eusted finally returns home after what seemed to be an eternity, but in reality it was much shorter than other american work days. He only worked five hours.
He plows his head into the pillow and sleeps deeply, satisfied he gets the sleep he so wanted the night before. Only to wake up a few hours later and begin, the rest of his day.
Eusted sits up. Immediately aware he hadn't gotten as much sleep as he wanted. "Damn, well I gave it a shot." he mentioned, eyes bloodshot from the lack of sleep lately.
He began to think about Lisa while sitting there hunched on his bed. Even if he was a nervous wreck, he should still ask her out. He hasn't had a girlfriend in over a year and he really likes her.
"Eh, but me? psshh.. quit foolin' yourself." He said aloud.
Eusted was always okay with the women, just, he never knew how to choose them. One girlfriend tried to stab him and threatened him with his life after he broke up with her, for anxiety reasons. Of course this only deepened his anxiety.
After that, he tried to make a vow, "Let them come to you, if shes willing to show her interest and comfort around you, you wont be so anxious." He assumed.
But Lisa was different. She got him, and he got her. They both came from a similar broken household.
"Oh fuck it.. Should I? Okay then I guess I will," seeming so nonchalant he wanted to make no big deal of it to his roommate, Jeff. Jeff had been pressuring him to get a girlfriend ever since they moved in together. After all, Jeff was happily engaged with his girlfriend, the three of them lived together.
"About time dude! I thought you were never going to get a girlfriend again!" Jeff spouted off, the usual annoying tone, even though jokingly always kind of stings.
"Yeah, I guess letting girls come to you doesn't work when your just an emo kid," Eusted laughed.
Later that night, while Eusted was trying to get to sleep, as usual, trying to no avail, he thought. "Am I really going to ask her out? could it be the sleep deprivation getting to me? Am I really going to give up my morals now? What happens when she says no?...." it was an undoubted no, he knew. But for the sake of trying he's going to do it anyways. "I've just got to, be a damn man for once. I told Jeff I would..." Anxiety, killing him, again he didn't sleep.
*Beep* *Beep* *Beep* "Shit, 3 AM already? Why cant I just fucking sleep!" Today was the day, he would break his anxiety. He hoped.